He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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