im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
