our cab driver is having phone sex.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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