# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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