even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
and she was petting her beer can
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
