Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
