and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
