Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
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