Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
