i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
