listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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