I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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