what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
