i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
