I can text with my tongue
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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