I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
