girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
