White coat. Heels.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
pray to the hookup gods
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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