Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
i think im in europe. pls send help
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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