i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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