oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
