I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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