I just made out with a guy for $7.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
