My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
