What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
