I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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