Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
