haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
