Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
