Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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