I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
