Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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