The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
