She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
