They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize
