is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
My vagina just recognized that song.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
