Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
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She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
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I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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