who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
