How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
