He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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