I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
