She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
