You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize