no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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