YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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