Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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