Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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