I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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