what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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