Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
