sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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