I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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