this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
