I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He better not be in your backpack
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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