so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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