i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
