She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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