Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize
