A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
