Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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