My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
