1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
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