you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
