Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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