so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
