haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
