im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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