she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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