sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
